Your Mission, Should You Choose To Accept It

Let's walk a while in the hallucinatory fields of the concept streams. The bubbling brooks babble through the trees and you follow them up the slope, past the treeline, up through the rubble and scree to a cave at the top of the mountain.

There you find an old woman and child, a girl barely a month or two old. It's your job to carry the baby back down the mountain, through the lightning and thunder, through the bears and wolves, eagles and snakes, bogs, quagmires, and quicksands, rapids and waterfalls, and many eyes in the night all trying to kidnap, murder, and eat the child.

Don't let go; keep her secret and safe. Do you think you can do that? Can you shoulder the burden? If you accept this challenge, you get a gas mask, a shotgun, and a Game Boy Advance.

Good luck. This message will self-destruct in ten days and two ounces.