I'm not gonna be resentful. I'ma be useful and happy and pleasant as can be. I'm gonna make your life a lot easier. I'ma make the emotional, physical, and existential pain go away. Fear not, my friend. You're with a professional now.
There's no need to worry. Just sit back and try to relax. What would you like today, sir, ma'am? What kind of entertainment would you care to endure? Some light green will-o'-the-wisp? Or perhaps a something little heavier like a spike through the face.
Which eye do you prefer, your left or your right? Okay – shloop – I'll be taking that! You see, I am the Master of Eyeballs. Eyeballs, brains, hearts, minds, lips and assholes – everything's mine. Every part of you is hooked up to me.
There's no way to distinguish one from the other. We're two liquids in a jar. We're two gases in a room. Let it happen. Try not to resist. Let my words sink through you like a stone to the sea bed of your soul.
Feel my octopus feelers feel through your holes. There is no Me; there is no You; there is only One. Can you feel it? I'm wrapped around your basal ganglia – the lizard part of your brain. It's evolution, friend. You can't look away.
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