WWIII

What are people actually like? Put em through a pandemic and you'll find out. Jesus Christ, it's been fuckin messy. I feel like every way I turn there's an existential crisis staring back at me, licking its chops, waiting for me to blink or run or make any move whatsoever.

Crises – they can smell your fear. I can never remember, is it play dead or make yourself look big if you meet an existential crisis on the trail?

I think it's actually go bat shit insane then tweet about it. Spray and pray, motherfuckers. Take a load of content to the face every day, every waking moment. Ramp up the data rate! Increase the bandwidth! Pour it on! Hijack the controls! Now, where are those towers?

It's funny. You look at the world in front of your eyes and shit's normal. People say hello in the street; they take their dogs to the park; builders kneel on a tarped-off roof; you can hear the radio playing Justin Bieber, all the mundane shit you should see on a Tuesday afternoon.

Then I jack into cyberspace and it's fuckin WWIII where SJWs from Wokistan are tryna take out Alt-Righters from Magastan. Cancellations and bans fly through the air like bombs, taking out infantrypeople. 

Shitposting on a military-industrial scale. Smoke rises from burnt-out cases and careers crumble to earth. The kids and old people are crying; they've been left to fend for themselves while the parents fight on the front line. We're talking skirmishes, battles, all-out war in virtual reality.

Then you pull out and sit there, covered in sweat, panting like you just got fucked. Grab a quick shower, eat some food, swallow some vitamin D tablets and then jack straight back in.